When Writing Advice Becomes Toxic: Stop Policing My Identity as a Xicana
Grab your favorite drink and sit back, because I’m about to share with you why I don’t believe in a one-size-fits-all solution to writing or worldbuilding.
When I first published The Deadbringer in 2016, Amazon’s Kindle Direct Publishing platform was still a relative newcomer in the traditional publishing scene. Independent publishing wasn’t seen as a legitimate business (which it is) and was often referred to as “vanity publishing.” And for the record, you better believe I laughed out loud at that last bit.
In an effort to combat the stigma associated with self-publishing at the time, and to bring validity to my own work, I attended establishment book conventions such as WorldCon and SFWA, some of the biggest science fiction and fantasy industry award shows.
I made it a point to be an active participant in these spaces and volunteered to moderate or be a speaker on panels. I jumped at any chance to read my work before an audience, which I discovered was something I genuinely loved. I also attended many panels about the ever-changing landscape of the indie publishing world, and on how I could improve my craft as a writer. This education (because that’s what it is) included writing workshops and critique groups.
After all, these particular conventions have been legitimized by the traditional publishing industry and are considered professional settings. Since I had no formal background in creative writing, I thought to myself, what better place to learn?
And who am I to question the professionals . . .
WHEN WRITING ADVICE BECOMES TOXIC
My experience with teachers in the Western academic setting has seldom been great: I struggle to learn and I often don’t present well, letting anxiety get the better of me. I’m much better at learning when in smaller groups or by myself, outside the standardized tests and other bureaucracy of the traditional “educational system.” But of course, that isn’t what the industry (or publishers, or employers) are looking for, and I’ve always been made to feel less because of it.
I carried that chip on my shoulder for a long time. It doesn’t help that in spaces such as SWFA and WorldCon there are those—almost always cis-, white males with hard-ons for European history—who weaponize their education to make you feel like you’re a fucking idiot.
I experienced first-hand the systemic racism within the science fiction, fantasy, and horror communities. It sucks to discover that you and your stories aren’t really wanted unless you’re willing to make a few changes—which in my case required erasing my identity. And this is that I’m a light-skinned Xicana with hazel eyes.
But I wanted to succeed, and opportunities that I otherwise would’ve never had came my way because I was an active participant in these legitimized spaces. So I sucked it up and dealt with it. There are a number of examples I could cite where my identity was policed, but I want to focus on the moment when I said to myself, Fuck this writing advice.
For a long time, I tried to follow the advice of other authors, both indie and traditional, to mold my brain to their styles, to conform my habits to theirs. I especially felt this pressure when I began working on the prequel novella To Nurture & Kill—a story about a wandering mercenary who has been tasked to care for a child with dark, dangerous powers. As background, part of the story is set in the city of Florinia, which is described as having a universal educational system and a festival dedicated to the local corn harvest.
And yet, at a writing workshop where I submitted the first 6,000 or so words of To Nurture & Kill for critique, I was told by some fellow authors in the workshop that Florinia’s educational system and its Corn Festival didn’t “work” because “none of these elements existed in medieval Europe, so readers will think that you don’t know what you’re talking about, and your story will be judged as bad writing.”
When I spoke up and mentioned that I wanted to see myself represented in fantasy and that while these elements might not have existed in medieval Europe, they did exist in Mesoamerica, I was met with the following: “Yes, but you have to understand that your readers don’t know that. All they’ll see is that you’re a writer who doesn’t know what they’re talking about and it will pull them out of the story. Think about trade.”
Of course, in the abstract “thinking about trade” is not bad advice, as it is important to think about what goods are native to your secondary world, which are imported, etc. But in this instance, these authors centered European Whiteness as the norm for a fantasy setting, as the default lived experience shared by all. The concepts of what educational systems existed, what trade items were available, were weaponized to white-wash my voice, my stories.
When I tried to further explain where I was coming from, I was talked down to and dismissed. I finally just shut up and let them explain to me why they were right, and why I was wrong. I just wanted the experience to be over.
This “well-meaning advice” fixated on how to improve my craft as a writer by eliminating the ethnic elements. The advice was not how to improve my writing or refine my worldbuilding, but to mold me into what these authors considered a Real Author. And to them, being a Real Author meant there was no room for my identity.
There Is a Difference
I’m grateful to the many BIPOC authors that have shared their experiences, who’ve started scholarships to attract more BIPOC talent, who’ve worked hard to obtain positions of authority within establishment institutions and to champion change from within. There is strength and healing in learning that you’re not alone in your experiences; it’s way too easy to gaslight yourself into believing the issues of discrimination and gaslighting don’t go that deep, when, in fact, they do.
Thankfully, now a few years further on, I’m very blessed to be in a writing group that gives me real, objective feedback on my drafts, like tips on how I can bring more emotion to scenes or characters, more excitement to a brawl, and so on. The difference between the condescension I experienced in the past and the good-faith critiques of my current group is like night and day.
Looking back, it’s terrifying to realize how lost I’d become, because of how BIPOC identities are policed under the guise of “well-meaning writing advice.” Because when all is said and done, policing BIPOC identities is another form of upholding Whiteness as the accepted lived experience; it says you’re welcome to sit at our table, but leave your culture at the doorstep.
Article and images created by E.M. Markoff
The Purple Rose in image three is original artwork created by Pink Pigeon Studio for Tomes & Coffee Press.
I'm a Contributing Author for the Kickstarter Campaign 'Death's Garden Revisited: Relationships with Cemeteries' (Project Ends 4/16)
Aside from working toward the upcoming publication of The Faceless God (ebook pre-order is now available on Amazon), I also have a short personal essay that will be published in Death's Garden Revisited by Loren Rhoads (author of 199 Cemeteries to See Before You Die). Her new book, which she is funding through Kickstarter, collects 40 powerful essays, complete with pictures, to illustrate why people visit cemeteries. This death-positive project has already exceeded its $1,000 goal and has unlocked a fair number of its stretch goals, including "online reading by contributors via Zoom"! I love reading my work to an audience and look forward to doing so in the near future.
My essay is about my trip to the Olšany Cemetery during the winter, and if you want to learn more please consider donating to the Kickstarter campaign. Pledges start as low at $5, which gets you a vintage cemetery postcard from the author’s own personal collection. The book will be in color and in addition to my essay, I’m also contributing my own pictures from the Olšany Cemetery. And because I had so many to chose from, below is a taste of what the pictures will look like. Please note that these pictures won’t be in Death’s Garden Revisited. I want to keep the pictures that are in the book a surprise :)
Only two more stretch goals remain, and if the project reaches $5k then the book release party will be held in a cemetery!! My black heart couldn’t be happier. I know Kira from the Ellderet series would totally be on board with this project; it’s most certainly his cup of coffee. Fun fact: the campaign was backed by author Brandon Sanderson -- yup, that Brandon Sanderson!
Stay tuned for a guest post from Loren Rhoads where she talks about the playlist of favorite cemetery songs she put together for Death’s Garden Revisited!
Wishing everyone a wonderful day!
EMM
Fuck Cancer. The Faceless God ebook is Still Being Published on 8/27/2022
Welcome to the first post of 2022! I hope the New Year has been kind and that everyone is staying safe. So, I'm just going to jump straight into what's been going on with me as it's directly affecting my career.
Note: The information in this post was originally published in my Newsletter of the Cursed on 3/31/2022. It’s been edited and revised for this blog.
Welcome to the first post of 2022! I hope the New Year has been kind and that everyone is staying safe. So, I'm just going to jump straight into what's been going on with me as it's directly affecting my career. I found a lump on my breast the same evening I got back from Rose City Comic Con in early September of last year. I was not seen by a doctor until November, but eventually my biopsy came back positive for breast cancer, more tests ensued, and on January 19 I had a lumpectomy. On the positive side, the tumor was small and hadn't spread beyond my breast. But on the negative side, the pathology report and genomic testing showed the cancer was fairly aggressive. To make sure it's gone for good and doesn't come back, I started chemotherapy in March and will be continuing treatment until May, and then undergoing radiation.
Needless to say, this all sucks, but I'm not going to let cancer fuck with the world of the Ellderet. More than anything, I want to put The Faceless God in your hands, my dear readers. The Faceless God ebook is still on schedule to be published on 8/27/2022 through Amazon. The paperback will follow shortly after, as it takes a bit more work for me to assemble (formatting, interior artwork, new chapter headers, etc). In the meantime, you can download a sneak peek over on BookFunnel, including the prologue and the first two chapters. Please note the artwork on the sneak peek cover is not the final cover art for TFG.
The next couple of months are going to be intense, but to quote a lyric from one of my favorite songs by Nine Inch Nails, "nothing can stop me now." You can now pre-order The Faceless God ebook on Amazon, and know that your pre-order helps put my stories in front of other readers.
Thank you for coming along with me on this crazy ride that is a writer’s life!!
Teipanoc (laters),
EMM
Happy Indigenous Peoples' Day 2021
Happy Indigenous Peoples' Day ✊
It's important to remember that the indigenous peoples of the Americas are alive today and that they are not just an anecdote in a history book. Their cultures, beliefs, and stories are not static, are not relegated to the past, and exist in the here and now.
Happy Indigenous Peoples' Day ✊
It's important to remember that the indigenous peoples of the Americas are alive today and that they are not just an anecdote in a history book. Their cultures, beliefs, and stories are not static, are not relegated to the past, and exist in the here and now.
Too often, indigenous peoples and their ways of life are treated as extinct, or as some exotic curiosity. For example, the History Channel’s Ancient Aliens show boldly states in the episode description that the "Mayan people vanished" while the episode appears to imply they collaborated with extraterrestrials. Sadly, I remember growing up believing that the Mexica (Aztecs) were wiped out, because it was what my American history class taught.
But this type of misinformation can be stopped if more people speak up and call it out as the erasure and exploitation that it is. One way to do this is by advocating for a curriculum that centralizes the indigenous experience from the perspective of indigenous peoples, such as teaching the awful truth about the history of Indian Boarding School policies in the United States. Or maybe the next time someone says that an indigenous group is "extinct" or that their culture is "dead," correct that person and let them know that’s not true. I know this is easier said than done, especially if you're in an environment that isn't BIPOC friendly or overly emphasizes European and Western values. Unless we speak up, change can't happen, so let's work together to make change happen.
Read more about historical Indian Boarding School policies. H/T to @speaknahuatl for the link to The National Native American Boarding School Healing Coalition.
Stop Asian Hate
Eugene Lee Yang from The Try Guys put together an informative and nuanced video essay discussing Anti-Asian hate. Not only does Eugene give his own perception, but he also includes other voices from the Asian community as well as the Black community. A lot of the information presented in the video is new to me, and I’m thankful for it.
Hello! I hope everyone is staying safe and healthy <3
Today, I wanted to share an important video with y’all from one of my favorite YouTube channels.
Eugene Lee Yang from The Try Guys put together an informative and nuanced video essay discussing Anti-Asian hate. Not only does Eugene give his own perception, but he also includes other voices from the Asian community as well as the Black community. A lot of the information presented in the video is new to me, and I’m thankful for it.
One of the things he points out in the video essay is how Asian American history is not taught in classrooms, how what is taught omits the Asian American struggle against racism in the United States. I 100% agree. Not until I moved to San Francisco and visited Japantown for the first time did I learn about the Internment Camps of the 1940s. In fact, my first mochi was from Benkyodo—a Japanese business that first opened in San Francisco in 1906 but was forced to temporarily close when the family was interned during World War II.
American history excels at indoctrinating racial stereotypes as “facts” and then using those “facts” to justify genocide or erase the atrocities committed against BIPOC. Racism against the Asian community is part of American history and should be taught in schools to help dispel those harmful stereotypes and encourage dialogue.
Thankfully, history is no longer confined to classroom textbooks written from the White gaze. The internet is a powerful tool, and it’s allowed me to learn and listen to people from affected communities, including my own. Because there is always something to learn.
The video essay is about an hour long and covers the following topics (timestamps taken from the original YouTube video):
00:00 - Introduction
04:10 - Yellow Peril
08:20 - America At War
11:57 - Model Minority
19:06 - Vincent Chin
22:55 - Black & Asian Communities
31:11 - Policing
36:01 - Hate Rhetoric
46:10 - Monolith & Media
51:49 - Generational Divide
58:29 - Voting & Representation
1:04:39 - How You Can Help
Please watch Eugene’s video, listen to the people within the Asian American communities, and help lift up their voices. If possible, please consider donating to the AAPI community fund. #StopAsianHate.
Mexica New Year 2021: The Year of Chicnahui (9) Calli (House)
Welcome back <3 I hope everyone’s March has been going well. Quick post sharing an event to celebrate Mexica New Year, 9 House. This link will take you to the website where you can find all the deets. The first event starts tomorrow at 6 am with a live Sunrise Ceremony.
Stay safe and healthy, everyone!
Happy Mexica New Year from me and Kanoqui!
Winter Storm: How to Help Texas | Donation Links (Homeless, Immigrants, Elderly)
I was born and raised in Texas, and it’s not an understatement to say that the infrastructure for this kind of weather does not exist.
Scroll down to go straight to the donation links
I was born and raised in Texas, and it’s not an understatement to say that the infrastructure for this kind of weather does not exist. I was there in 2011 for the last winter storm, and I sure as heck didn’t know what I was doing. When I saw the ice on the car windshield, I went back inside the apartment trying to find something I could use to scrape the ice off (I heard credit cards are good??) without scratching the glass.
And then my husband presented me with an ice scraper specifically made for, well, scraping the ice off of the glass without causing damage. Unlike I, who’d never lived in a place with four seasons, my husband knew how to respond to the ice and even had specialized equipment at hand. With that tool, scraping off ice was as easy as wiping down a windshield at the gas station. By the next day, the snow that had fallen on the ground was already beginning to melt.
Unlike San Francisco, Texas was built for hot weather: Heavy-duty air conditioners and ceiling fans are a major thing (that being said, whenever San Francisco has a heat wave, I think about those air conditioners).
BIPOC, immigrants, the elderly, the disabled, and the homeless are often the communities that are hardest hit during the best of times. And now is not the best of times, which means that every little bit helps. And please, let’s not forget the children and parents who are caged within ICE facilities, who on a “normal” day are already mistreated. Facing adversity is never easy, but its even harder when you’re surrounded by strangers who are actively keeping you separated from your family. There’s nothing worse than feeling abandoned.
Below you will find a collection of links.
Dear Texas Peeps, my heart is with you <3
EMM
The Bridge | Amazon Wish List
Ending Community Homeless Coalition (ECHO)
Based in Austin/Travis County, their mission is “to provide dynamic, proactive leadership that engages policymakers and the community to end homelessness.”
La Monarca Foundation
A smaller organization based in Dallas, Texas that helps undocumented families in Texas.
https://lamonarcafoundation.org/
Family Eldercare
Situated in Central Texas (Austin and Georgetown), Family Eldercare “ensure that older adults, at-risk veterans, and adults with disabilities receive the care they need to thrive in their community.” They’ve been around since 1982. The link below will take you to their donation page set up specifically because of the winter storm.
https://www.familyeldercare.org/
Houston Food Bank
Founded in 1982, the “Houston Food Bank distributes food and other essentials to those in need through a network of 1,500 community partners.” They also “provide programs and services aimed at helping families achieve long-term stability including nutrition education, job training, health management, and help in securing state-funded assistance.” They have a great winter storm page with information for those who need help and those who want to help. There is also a useful map to help you find Houston Food Bank near you.
March for Our Lives Texas has compiled a document with updated resources for certain areas in Texas. Este documento esta disponible en español.
You can find the document in their LinkTree under “Updated Resources for Texas Winter Storm.”
Angry Tias & Abuelas donation link to help asylum seekers along the Texas border:
A useful list of mutual aid organizations by Austin Mutual Aid.
Writing Tips I learned at Flights of Foundry
It’s day 66 of sheltering in place in San Francisco. Clear blue skies and blinding sun are dominating the day, and the the Assistant—Kanoqui the Feral Prince—is quite happy with this change in weather. Kanoqui tends to get rather cranky when there is no sun for him to bask in …
It’s day 66 of sheltering in place in San Francisco. Clear blue skies and blinding sun are dominating the day, and the the Assistant—Kanoqui the Feral Prince—is quite happy with this change in weather. Kanoqui tends to get rather cranky when there is no sun for him to bask in, and he will stare and meow at me as if I had the power to make the sun appear. To date, I have not been able to successfully convey to him that I lack the ability to control the weather. Is anyone else’s fur baby like this, lol?
This past weekend was Flights of Foundry, and it was great! There were a few audio issues at the beginning that made it impossible to hear what the panelists were saying, but the glitches were quickly resolved. The convention went pretty smoothly after that and wow, did I learn a lot! It was the writing therapy I didn’t realize I needed, and my writer’s soul feels much calmer now. As a friend recently pointed out, validation in this industry is important, not just after the book is published, but throughout the writing process as well.
From what I heard there were over a thousand attendees this weekend, which is pretty amazing! I highly recommend attending Flights of Foundry, so keep this one marked in your books for future online literary events.
I wanted to share the writing tips I learned, some of which I may or may not already employ. Sorry for the vagueness, but I don’t want to accidentally give something away about book2/The Faceless God!
Plots aren't static but can develop as you write.
How to use pronouns without it getting confusing:
Read your work out loud. If the balance between name and pronoun is not clear, it’s time put the name in.
Vary the syntax and dialogue.
Switching POVs can help open up possibilities that you didn’t think about before because you were locked into a prior POV. Don’t be afraid to switch POVs.
A way to explore characters (especially in a group dynamic) is to write the dialogue first. It’s OK if the dialogue doesn’t make it into your story, but this can help you get a feel for how your characters speak and interact with each other.
Keep in mind the way characters treat each other and those around them. A character will treat friends, family, coworkers, etc differently.
Write something you are passionate about, and that passion will come through.
You do not have to do an apprenticeship in short fiction to get an agent or be a legitimate writer.
90% of your marketing effort is wasted, but you can’t obsess over it.
How many beats are ideal in a fight scene?
It depends on how big the fight is. Turning points are important to keep the fight from becoming grinding.
Have breathing spaces between dramatic fight scenes.
Track the flow of how information is revealed in your story (i.e., who knows what, and when is that information revealed).
For revisions:
All forms of plotting and revision work so long as it works for you. <3
Make a bullet list of key turning points.
Make a “stakes map” and color code the stakes so you can see at a glance what is happening in your story and to your characters.
Note which character is in which scene and if they need more "screen time" or less.
Forcing yourself to finish the draft or “go on” is not always the right choice. If you feel resistance, you might be pushing the story or character in the wrong direction. Stop writing, look closely over your story, and try to figure out what is throwing your story off.
Watching “making of a movie” videos is a great way to learn how to edit your story by analyzing why certain movie scenes did not make it into finished films.
As you write, take notes of what needs to be changed, and then go back and revise it later so you can get that first draft out.
Be aware if changes in your story during revisions cause a ripple effect. Changing one thing can change everything else.
How your characters develop and behave is not something that is set in stone before writing. Your story is a single work that can change as you write it because of the group dynamics revealed as you progress.
The 3-act story structure used heavily by Western media is not universal. There are also 4-act and 5-act structures. My Neighbor Totoro is an example of a 4-act structure.
Memory is ephemeral, unreliable. The more you remember something, the more distorted it becomes. That kind of unreliability is something you need to be aware of as you write your characters.
Decolonizing the SFF genre:
Question your fundamental assumptions about the world.
S. Qiouyi Lu has a great article on Tor.com that talks about the framework of decolonizing speculative fiction
Even within small communities, no culture is a monolith:
Don’t present communities as purely homogenous.
Don’t have one person represent an entire culture.
Once you are aware of how you are colonizing, that is a huge step toward decolonizing.
The “wrong” or “right” narrative is a Western idea of there being only one truth, that only one side can be right, or that only one narrative can be true. This is not universal to all cultures.
The gender binary was imposed to get rid of traditional gender roles and to impose a system of power that favored gender imbalance. It’s a means of control, but it has been so internalized that it is never questioned.
Do not italicize non-English words.
Revel in yourself and in your culture and don’t worry about whether everyone can relate to it. As long your story is good, the reader will find something to relate to on their own.
I hope you find something useful <3
All the best,
EMM
2020 Events Update and Flights of Foundry: An Online Convention During COVID-19 | May 16-17
It’s day 59 of sheltering in place in San Francisco. The past few days have been rainy and today is no different, but I love rainy days <3 Another convention I was scheduled to be at later this year has just canceled due to COVID-19, and I respect the organizers' decision …
It’s day 59 of sheltering in place in San Francisco. The past few days have been rainy and today is no different, but I love rainy days <3 Another convention I was scheduled to be at later this year has just canceled due to COVID-19, and I respect the organizers' decision. This would have been my first year at Rose City Comic Con, a convention I have heard nothing but good things about (for both vendors and attendees). Because that’s the thing about conventions: the attendee experience does not always mirror the vendor experience, and vice versa.
So far it looks like the only in-person convention I have set that has not yet been canceled is Powerhouse Comic Con in Pleasanton, CA, which is still scheduled for 7/26/2020. I’ll keep you posted if anything changes.
And now onto a convention I will be attending: Flights of Foundry! This will be my first time attending an online convention and being part of a virtual dealer’s room. I have no idea what to expect but am super grateful to the organizers for all the work they are putting into making this event happen. I won’t be doing any panels, which means I get to enjoy the programming to its fullest. I admit to feeling major FOMO (fear of missing out) yesterday as I was looking over the schedule and found myself thinking, “I should have at least done a reading.”
Not since I published The Deadbringer have I gone to a convention just as an attendee. Normally, if I’m not doing a panel I’m doing a live reading. If I’m not doing either of those things, I am behind a table vending. But preparing for a panel takes time (it’s a professional presentation, after all), and I want to prioritize my own writing, i.e., book 2/The Faceless God. To that end, the panels I will be attending focus on topics that are relevant to the writing stage I'm at.
Photo Credit | Flights of Foundry
The panel I am really looking forward to is “Using Mythology in SFF” since I incorporate my own culture and mythology into the secondary world of the Ellderet. The knowledge you gain from hearing first-hand the authors, editors, artists who have “been there, done that" has been invaluable to me. Literary conventions are basically CEU (continuing education credits). Do I think I’m the greatest writer in the world because I go to these conventions and attend these panels? Hahaha, no. But I do know I'm a better writer than I was when I first started, and that’s part of what my #writerslife or #authorslife journey is about.
If you would like to attend the panels, you have until May 17 to register. Flights of Foundry is free, but donations are welcome.
All the best,
EMM
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Tales for the Camp Fire 1-Year Anniversary: Our Wildfire Relief Charity Anthology of Short Horror Stories
Happy Saturday! I'm excited about today as it marks the 1-year anniversary of Tales for the Camp Fire!! Within one day of the ebook going live, the charity anthology I published reached #3 in Amazon's Best Sellers in Horror Anthologies, and the 100 print books I had taken to Bay Area Book Festival sold out!
Happy Saturday! I'm excited about today as it marks the 1-year anniversary of Tales for the Camp Fire!! Within one day of the ebook going live, the charity anthology I published reached #3 in Amazon's Best Sellers in Horror Anthologies, and the 100 print books I had taken to Bay Area Book Festival sold out!
During that launch weekend at the book festival, many readers shared their personal stories of how they or someone they knew had been devastated by the wildfire that tore through Paradise, CA in late 2018. The loss was heartbreaking. By the end of 2019, we raised $2,200 in profit and donated it to North Valley Community Foundation’s wildfire relief fund. All of this was possible because of the readers, authors, organizers, media outlets, and local bookstores who supported the charity anthology in one way or another. I'm very grateful and proud of this book because I and a lot of other people donated our time and labor to give back to the community.
Many thanks to Jonathan Maberry for blurbing the book (eekk! mind blown!!), Petersen Games for donating the awesome cover artwork, Deirdre Spencer for designing the cover, to the estate of Clark Ashton Smith for graciously donating a story, to Bram Stoker Award nominated author Loren Rhoads for stepping up as editor, to L.S. Johnson and Qamber Designs for taking on the ebook, to all the contributing authors who donated their stories, to author Ben Monroe for coming up with the idea of putting together a charity anthology, and to director and author Death's Parade Film Fest and Chad Schimke for going above and beyond to spread the word.
I feel very grateful to have been a part of this ❤ If you would like to help out and get a great collection of horror stories, you can find the anthology in print and ebook on Amazon. All profits from the sale of this anthology will be donated to Camp Fire relief and recovery efforts administered by the North Valley Community Foundation.
All the best,
EMM
*click on the images for the full picture
Originally posted on my Instagram @tomesandcoffee 5/2/2020. Minor edits were made to the text for the post. Additional photos were added.